Perfect the Imperfection

Truth be told, life if full of hacks. In your personal lifetime you'll probably meet a handful of truly great people, and for public figures, there may be one in a million, but this isn't a sign of the times, just a search for humanity in the face of imperfection.

The best way to maintain hope and respect for truly good people is to maintain a safe distance. In my years of growing and developing, I've found that people are easiest to like when they're acquaintances. Once you become friends with someone you find yourself holding them to a standard without ever telling them. True friends will generally value your friendship and not kick you to the curb when you don't come up to snuff, but they still may experience a degree of disappointment.

An acquaintance will most often never let you down. If you go to work and ask Jerry in the cubicle next door what he did this weekend, he'll probably say that he spent some time with some old college buddies and you'll think Jerry was a good guy and reliable for his old friends. In truth, Jerry could've hit up some prostitutes with the buddies for a six-way gangbang, or he could've been a charter member of the KKK at Louisiana State University. As an acquaintance, you don't want to pry into Jerry's life and find out, so you'll let him be and he'll maintain a great status in your mind. Likewise, you'll be perfect for newscasts if he ever kills someone: "He was always such a nice guy."

The fact is that no one is perfect in the world, and it may be the imperfections that make for better pillars in a role model. In 1791 the French published Benjamin Franklin's autobiography, only to have it go on to be the most notable and popular autobiography of the colonial era. In the pages, Franklin offers keys of success and ways in which he used character ideals to become the self-made man. Starting as the son of a working stiff, Franklin became an inventor, political mouthpiece, and one of the official founding fathers of America.

In that case, it should be no surprise that most of Franklin's autobiography is a load of crap. While we see lots of ways to be successful, Franklin offers a spin on things like his buyout of a onetime partner to get control of a profitable business. Also, it should be noted that this womanizing statesman offers no apologies for his lack of character in the realm of fidelity. Moreover, his wife is barely mentioned in the book, and she was the cash cow that got the ball rolling for Franklin.

When you write your own life you can take these liberties and cover up all the bad things you do, but Ben Franklin also had another issue that would surely get diagnosed as a psychological disorder these days. He would chart his successes each day in a neurotic step towards self-examination (at least he said he did in his book). This led Franklin to becoming one big hang-up; each day he didn't live up to his own expectations, he would admittedly fail himself. Could you imagine the amount of negative enforcement in this method of discipline? If you stay up late an hour or two, you failed yourself for the whole day and you go to bed feeling like a waste.

What we get from Franklin is a whole book of "Do as I say, not as I do," then again if you don't do any research you won't learn the flaws in the historical narrative anyway. But there's ultimately a huge problem with the adage, "Do as I say..." because it discounts all the temptations and humanity in an individual. In essence, it's a way of saying, "I gave in to this, but you shouldn't. After all, I am pointing it out for you to be aware of, and awareness is all you need to say no." Still, when a rulebook discounts human nature, you end up with a brass ring that no one will be able to grasp, and in all honesty, who needs that kind of pressure?

In life, you shouldn't always settle for less. But sometimes it's easier to settle and the time you save settling can really provide you with some nice rest and relaxation time. It's important to take time out for yourself and if the world gets too busy and starts closing in, you just have to drop everything and say, "Screw it, I'm gonna watch some TV." The only real time that you can't drop everything to enjoy yourself is when you have entities that are dependent upon you for life, like a child or pet.

Try Something New

When I was a little kid, at about the age of seven, my mother picked me up and tossed me into the world of little league baseball. My first experience was in tee-ball and it was probably the best athletic experience I would have. Though there’s no place for a round, slow, distracted kid on any baseball team, there never fails to be one in every outfield. When I got to the field, I didn’t even know what a shortstop was, so they threw me into the outfield, where I would get bored and not pay attention.

This trend carried into regular baseball, where there was throwing and batting. My on-base percentage was made up mostly by being hit with the ball, and I was terrible in the batter’s box anyway. The outfield was again a boring mess and more often the ball would hit me in the face rather than hit my glove. I developed a magnetism for the ball all over my body, except the hand. I took this as a sign that sports would not be my cup of tea, but mom insisted I get off my ass and do something with myself.

The heckling from parents and children, not to mention the uncomfortable pants, were a terrible source of sadness for me in my childhood. Instead of giving up, I would work hard to be a better baseball player in my spare time, only to fail miserably because of outfield boredom and no chance to prove efficiency at any other position. It was this stagnant situation that led me to relief that, on one positive side, I would not have to play baseball anymore when I went under the knife for knee surgery at the age of ten.

Without knee surgery, I would have undoubtedly given up baseball, and I see no problem with that. Baseball and I just didn’t fit together. I think all kids should experience an organized sport for at least one season, if not to prosper and have fun with teammates, then to find out how elitist and nonsensical it can be at times. I have to say that it has truly served as a launch pad for how the world would be in the future. When you don’t do so well, you get heckled from parents, teachers, and peers; sometimes you hit the ball, and sometimes the ball hits you; and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get ahead.

The most important thing I learned from my baseball experience is that in life you really have to learn to cut your losses. It’s a great feeling when you succeed at things, and some people manage to succeed at everything they do, but most people fail at things, and it’s okay. They say, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” but sometimes you can save all that time trying by quitting and trying to accomplish something brand new. So from now on, get rid of that silly “try, try again,” because you are going to go out there, and “If at first you don’t succeed, try something new.”

GO ON TO PART II